sweet_tragedies

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 22:10:35 GMT

Howdy,

Not much goin on, I just ripped my ENTIRE room apart lol and re-did it all...like all my books, and everything that was on my dresser, and desk and bed and whatever. And it got MAJORLY cleaned. Then I cleaned the living room, and kitchen.

I SHOULD do my essay, but I really dont feel like it so maybe another time. I dont know. I REALLY dont feel like doing it.

Wow nothing to talk about anymore, I had stuff to talk about...but not now. Hmm Idk where my train of thought went. I hate when that happens.

Oh well, if I think of it, I guess I'll come back er whatever.

Bye.

Thu, 31 Mar 2005 15:42:06 GMT

well well well.
Nothing much going on I suppose.
I guess that me, sara, and mike are going to saras g-mas for an hour or so, then going to the mall for a few, then to get ron, so we can all hang out here at her house.
Thats all for today, no other set in stone plans for the rest of the week. How about yourself?

Everyone having a good break?
Hope so.

Well I suppose thats it..<3

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 01:46:33 GMT

alright...these damn monsters called "feelings" can kiss my ass.
They just get in the damn way of everything, and im not very happy with them at the moment.
I dont know what to do...
all of my feelings are so mixed up, I dont know what to dooo...
ugh. Life...

buh bye.

Tue, 29 Mar 2005 04:14:49 GMT

Hey Hey Hey
its been like forever. I hate how I go on these like lj binges. Where I'll update like a billion times for a month or two, then not update for like two more months. Weird, Idk.
Anyways, next year I might go to the Art Acadamy In The Woods, im so excited. I hope I can. I might not be able to because of like credits and stuff...czu they have 7 hours a day, so they need 26 credits or somethin glike that to graduate. But I think I can do it, Im sure I'll be fine. Oh well.
Im watching Sixteen candles right now, I love this movie. yay.
Happy Belated Easter everyone...
That was a random thought, but thats okay.
My aunt was going to give me Killer Clowns from Outer Space or whatever, that was before she knew Im like terrified of them. But then she found that out, and ended up just keeping it. But she gave me this other movie...Nothing In Common.
I've never heard of it, Tom Hanks is in it, and some other guy that I cant remember right now. If you've ever heard of it/saw it, tell me how it was.
Hmm..gunna go watch Sixteen Candles now. I <3 this movie.
Buh bye...
<3

Tue, 29 Mar 2005 04:00:10 GMT

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I lovable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
33. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
34. Are you going to put this on your Live Journal and see what I say about you?

Thu, 17 Mar 2005 00:53:19 GMT

Hmm nothing really to talk about.
I found a pic to do my photo transfer in art. Its of an old Chevy Truck, and its black n white, I love it. Im going to give it to my dad when its done, cuz he loves old cars.
Im done with my self portrait, and I just finished one of my random ones that I can do, and im almost done with my sculpture.
Cant wait till art club tomarrow.
Oh man my feelings are so mixed up, idk what to think about anyone anymore.
Ugh.
But other than that things are groovy.
Got all my missing work in except for English, but im not doing it, cuz I hate that class, and Mrs. Cerrini too. Especially the project we're doing now, its silly.
Im excited for art lol..
I've been drawing things all over the place lately, so creative lately, idk whats up.
Hmm.......buh bye I suppose
<3

Sun, 13 Mar 2005 21:03:58 GMT

Took this from Amanda..

1. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.

2. I will then tell you what song/BAND reminds me of you.

3. Next, I will tell you who you remind me of, celebrity/animated or otherwise.

4. Last, I will try to name a single word that best describes you.

More hearts been broken, more people been used.

Sat, 12 Mar 2005 16:01:43 GMT

Why arent you here?
With me?
Back in the home,
Where you're supposed to be.
I need you here,
By my side,
Its getting so hard
Just to get by.
I need your love,
Your tender touch,
I need your heart,
Just this much.
I want to call you,
Tell you how I feel,
Tell you its not okay,
Tell you it hasnt healed.
Im not over you,
I just cant be,
I need us how we were,
I need you and me.

((I've been thinking a lot)).

"Cuz dreams last, for so long, even after your gone. I know you love me, and soon you will see, you were meant for me. And I was meant for you."

Sat, 12 Mar 2005 14:24:46 GMT

I hate this.
He seems totally over it, and over me,
And I cant get him out of my head.
I wish I could get over it, I've been telling myself that I am.
But im not,
And I want him back.
I still even cry over it,
I bet he doesnt even think of me that way anymore.
Why cant I just be over him?!
Why?

Wed, 09 Mar 2005 20:13:13 GMT

Hello.
Today was MUCH better than any other day in the past two weeks. Today I felt better, and had fun. Mostly only in 5th and 6th hour, but those classes are ALWAYS fun.
Ehh not really anything to talk about I suppose.
<33.

..::c-c-c-cinnamon lips and candy kisses::..

Tue, 08 Mar 2005 19:28:37 GMT

Blahhh, I hate popups! Oh well...it happens.
I feel so much better. I mean my throat still hurts kinda, but much better than a few days ago, and no more hurling, yayness!
Ron wants me to go Ice Skating with him again this weekend, Idk if I should...think I'll jsut get sick again, or should I just go? Dillemas!! ((Dilemmas))?? Both of them look wrong..oh well.
I cant wait to go back to school, I cant believe I just said that. Well I mean I hate school, and im going to have a shit load of homework, but I missssss people!
I miss my art class, and art CLUB, and I miss psych class, cuz its fun debating!
I miss Ryan...I cant believe hes in COLORADO, too far. Damn, I wish I could hug him.

Probably see you all tomarrow...
LoVeS!

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 16:32:14 GMT

Well Im finally getting to talk to Ryan since he's moved on Friday. He's called me 2ce and I called him once, and now we're talking online. I already miss him so much, and it hurts so badly that I didnt even get to give him a hug goodbye, or tell him goodbye really or anything. He just moved so suddenly. But at least we're talking. I suppose we're broken up, cuz of the distance and everything. But I hope we can just talk and everything, and see what happens later on, if he comes back ever or anything. I dont know, I knew it was too perfect to actually happen.
I know I'll get over it eventually, just right now im not ready to.

On another note, im still sick, getting better though, and Megan..It wasnt mono! Yay! HOPEFULLY I'll be back in school tomarrow, but I kinda doubt it. Idk.
<3<3 buh bye.

Where are you, and Im so sorry.
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight, I need somebody and always.
This sick strange darkness, comes creeping on so haunting every time
...Like indecision to call you. And hear your voice of treason.
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight?
I miss you, I miss you.

</3.

Fri, 04 Mar 2005 19:04:17 GMT

went BACK to the doctors today. Got MORE medication, some liquid stuff thats like a liquid vikedin ((dont know how to spell it)), and some anti-biotics er whatever.
Sometimes I feel okay, and other times it hurts to even talk. Im not a big fan of this sickness. But he said it SHOULD be gone by monday, I hope so.
I threw up today 5 times, really really gross. Tomarrow im going to my dads cuz my mom isnt going to be home n whatever, and I dont wanna be home alone like this really. Plus I just wanna see my dad.

Thu, 03 Mar 2005 18:34:35 GMT

Well I just got back from the doctors...actually a while ago, but I was trying to eat something ((didnt work)) then I took my fuckin TYLONOL 3 with CODINE...strong shit. heh, then I took a shower. The doctor did this thing with a swabby thing to see if I had strep, and it came back negative, but it MIGHT come to be strep in the long run...makes lots of sense huh, do a test, when what it says may be wrong? Then they took my blood, it hurt more than it did last time they took it...kinda sucked. And thats to test for Mono, which the results will come back tomarrow. He says it doesnt look like mono that much though, so he's treating it as a "really bad viral infection"... This tylonol isnt really helping the pain THAT much, but its making me sleepy as all hell.
Plus he said im not allowed to come to school tomarrow, im gunna have a craaapppload of homework dude. Sucks.

So wish me luck on the results for Mono toamrrow.
<3<3
P.s. I have a new screen name...for those of you I havent IMed yet. It is....drum roll please? ((lame, sorry))...............URxMyShiningStar
<3<3 again.

Thu, 03 Mar 2005 14:41:43 GMT

Yea I may not be in school for a few weeks. Im going to the Doctors today in like an hour, and they are pretty sure already that I've got Mono. Which sucks. And I cant even talk right...I sound retarded or something..it blowwws.
So Im hoping its NOT mono, and its just like strep throat or something so I dont have to miss WEEKS of school.
Meh...<3

Sat, 26 Feb 2005 15:36:58 GMT

http://geocities.com/miss_priss_85/

Thats the "Ode To Nice Girls".
I read it in Megans journal and loved it, its so true, and an extremely well put Ode, it was beautiful! :)
<3.

Sat, 26 Feb 2005 15:12:50 GMT

**David Lee Murphy - Dust On The Bottle**
There might be a little dust on the bottle
But don't let it fool ya about what's inside
There might be a little dust on the bottle
It's one of those things that gets sweeter with time

You're still with me, and we've made some memories
After all these years theres one thing i've found
Some say good love, well it's like a fine wine
It keeps getting better as the days go by

I like that song a lot! lol. Its sweet..awe! But thats only a little part of it. That all I felt like putting...you'll survive.
Im getting my hair cut today at 1:00 im so excited lol I hope she doesnt screw it up..I'd be upset. Then im going to my dads..And then Sunday going to a one year olds bday party, and sunday is one month for me n ryan so we'll probably hang out some. We hung out yesterday and it was good. :).
Anyways g2g buh bye <3.

Wed, 23 Feb 2005 18:15:16 GMT

Yeaa...things arent going so well. I hit a really bad stressed out point, and just everything is so fucked up. My mom wants to move this summer ((even though shes said that EVERY summer, but Idk..)) I want to cuz I hate our school, and most of the people in it. But then again I dont cuz I dont want to screw up what I've built up there, with NHS, and with Honors English class n whatever. Idk, and I'll miss some people. And plus I'd be farther away from my dad, and I cant deal with being with my mom ALL week, that just isnt going to happen. My aunt said I should move in with her...butttt no. Cuz she's crazier than my mom, and at least I dont really DEAL with my mom that much since shes never home anyways. And I could PROBABLY move in with my dad if I wanted to that badly, but Robin is the same as my mom...so that wouldnt get me anywhere. Plus money and stuff. So I dont know whats going to happen there. Everything is just falling on me at once and its really hard to handle. And its stressing Ryan out, which is the last thing I want to do b/c I <3 him a lot. He said that we'll get through it and everything, but I dont wanna mess him up. Idk what to do. Im not going to break up with him cuz I just...I really dont want to lose him. Plus another thing thats been stressing me out is a bunch of old memories have been coming back. Really good ones, through like songs, or smells, or something that I just notice that like "takes me back" I guess...And I really miss old days. These days are just too much to handle, im only 16, I shouldnt have to put up with all this weight. But I do, and I'll get through it just fine. There are just points that I feel like I just...wanna give up on it all. Plluusss grades. I get all A's and B's, im in NHS, SADD, and the Art Club, but its not good enough for my mom. She wants me to be SO perfect, and I just cant. I try as hard as I can...its just tough, I dont know. And I dont know what im going to do when I grow up. I dont even really have an idea. Not a set idea anyways. I like EVERYTHING, but with that everything there are things I dont like about the things. So I just cant decide. I dont know what college I want to go to, Im just not ready when im supposed to be. I mean I know a lot of people dont know this stuff by now...but im supposed to. I wanted to have everything figured out by now..and it just didnt happen. But like I said...I'll get through it all and I suppose I'll come out a better person right? I hope so.

Wow I just wrote something to Ryan. And it kinda sounded sing songy, so Im probably going to make a song out of it..or just a poem, Idk...I'll work on that.

Hmm...I need time to think.

Sorry this was so...emo-ish. I just kinda needed to rant on about this stuff. And I said my piece. Love you all.

<3 me.

Sat, 19 Feb 2005 17:41:53 GMT

RULES:
1. Hit shuffle and pick the first twenty songs on your playlist.
2. Write down one line of the song. Try to avoid putting the song title in the line.
3. Have your friends comment and see if they know the songs.
4. When someone guesses correctly, strike out the line.

Well I cant figure out how to strike them out right now...Soooo I'll jsut put **'s around them if people got them..okay?

1) ***But I believe that lovers should be tied together, Thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather, Left there to drown, Left there to drown in their innocence.***
2) ***The things you make me wanna do, I'd rob a quickie mart for you.***
3) "I'll try," she said as he walked away. "Try not to lose you." Two vibrant hearts could change.
4) And breathing is a foreign task, and thinking's just too much to ask, and you're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights.
5) ***Close my eyes and count to ten, hope its over when I open them. I want the things that I had before, like a starwars poster on my bedroom door.***
6) ***You bleed just to know you're alive.***
7) You couldnt be that man, I adore. You dont seem to know, seem to care what your heart is for. But I dont know him anymore.
8) ***Its like rain on your wedding day, its a free ride when you've already paid. Its the good advise that you just didnt take, and who would have thought it figures.***
9) Talkin bout the things that nobody cares. Wearin all the things that nobody wears.
10) Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place where as a child I'd hide, and pray for the thunder and the rain to quitely pass my by.
11) There she stood in the doorway, I heard the mission bell. I was thinkin to myself this could be heaven and this could be hell.
12) Chocolate is a bandaid, no matter what they say.
13) ***Mommy and daddys got the best cocain, riddlins never gunna feel the same. 24 hours on an empty brain, I got my finger on the trigger n you're in my way.***
14) Light that smoke, yea one for giving up on me. And one just cuz they'll kill you sooner than my expectations. ((done))
15) ***In the middle of a gun fight, in the center of a restaurant, they say come with your arms raised high.***
16) Love is insane and baby we are too.
17) ***Im not afraid put the gun in my hand, im just afraid it'll hurt like, hurt like hell.
18) It helps me to live. In case of fire BREAK the glass.***
19) Cinderella said to snow white, how does love get so off course. All I wanted was a white knight, with a good heart soft touch, thats toast. Ride me off into the sunset, baby im forever yours.
20) Across your stomach it said "HELP ME" I gotta know will you marry me?

I liked the choices that my computer made. Lol, but yea, I think I kinda made it a little too easy. Oh well..try anyways.

<3

P.s Thanks Carolyn! lol

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 21:58:15 GMT

The Boyfriend Survey
Created by queequeg139 and taken 237 times on bzoink!
About Him
What is his name?	Ryan
What is his middle name?	your mumma
How old is he?	15
Where did you meet?	lunch
How did you meet?	sherry
How long have you been dating him?	almost 2 weeks
What do you guys like to do for fun?	rock out, walk around, chill, Idk.
Do you have a lot in common with him?	yea
His mother's name?	kadie
Any brothers? If so, what are their name(s)?	Mike, Paul, and Dan
Any sisters? If so, what is her name(s)?	Megan, and another I dont know
His father's name?	Randy
Does he live close by?	very
Does he smoke cigarettes?	no
What is his favorite color?	shade..blach
What is his favorite movie?	dodgeball I guess
What is his favorite type of music?	rock n metal
Does he go to your school?	yep
Have you done the deed with him yet?	uh no
Do you think you would want to?	idk
Does he get along with your parents?	yea
Do you get along with his?	yep, cept stepmom.
What is his best quality?	hair, and he's tall
Is he tall, or short?	...tall
Is he skinny, or kinda chunky?	skinny
What color hair does he have?	brown
What color eyes does he have?	hazel
Thanks for taking this survey...bye	right.
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woo another survey.

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 18:37:14 GMT

Just Another Survey (100 Questions)
Created by KandyKisses and taken 32 times on bzoink!
BASICS
Name:	cass
Age you'd like to be:	5 and a half
Height you'd like to be:	what I am now
Weight you'd like to be:	same as now
Eye color:	blue
Hair color:	blondish brown
Dream Mate:	hmm..
Are they famous?	def. not
CURRENTS
Taste:	chicken noodle soup
Smell:	I cant smell anything, im sick.
Sound:	silence.
Clothing:	viva la bam shirt, and south park pajama pants
Mood:	drowsy
Sight:	computer screen
Thought:	I wanna play sims 2
Obsession:	Bright Eyes, at the moment
Worry:	ehh
Doubt:	..ehh
LAST TIME YOU...
Ate something:	like 5 minutes ago
Drank something:	the broth in my soup? 5 minutes ago.
Brushed your hair:	earlier today
Took a shower:	at like 8 today
Listened to music:	am now.
Yelled at someone:	Last night
Cried:	I dunno, few days ago
Screamed:	I dunno
Stressed:	this past weekend
Watched TV:	this morning
Been to the theater:	I dont remember when, but I seen white noise, not recomended.
Talked on the phone:	about 11 or so
Argued with someone:	last night
DO YOU LIKE...(MUSIC)
Cradle Of Filth:	never REALLY listened.
Slipknot:	yea
Hilary Duff:	no
Simple Plan:	yea
Metallica:	yea
Britney Spears:	no
Black Sabbath:	ehh, never really listened
Ludacris:	ehh
Ciara:	yea
Jennifer Lopez:	no
Thin Lizzy:	never listened
Kiss:	yea
Dimmu Borgir:	huh?
Good Charlotte:	sometimes
Lindsey Lohan:	no
Cky:	yea
2 Live Crew:	not really
A Perfect Circle:	never listened
Ashanti:	no
Audioslave:	yea
H.I.M:	yessss
Pearl Jam:	they're alright
Avril Lavigne:	nah
DO YOU LIKE...(MOVIES)
Ocean's Eleven:	never seen
Wizard of Oz:	yes
Fast & the Furious:	never seend
Resident Evil:	yea
Top Gun:	never seen
James and the Giant Peach:	YES I LOVE THAT MOVIE lol
Bad Boys:	never seen
The Lost Boys:	never seen
Nightmare Before Christmas:	love it!
Clueless:	no
Desperado:	never seen
Beverly Hills Cop:	never seen
American Pie:	of course
Fight Club:	never seen
Beetlejuice:	Love it
Three Amigos:	never seen
Mean Girls:	not really
Nightmare on Elm Street:	never seen
Dawn of the Dead:	ehh
Interview with The Vampire:	never seen
Gone with the Wind:	never seen
PICK A BAND AND NAME ONE SONG THAT DESCRIBES...
Your love life:	Martina Mcbride - My Valentine
Your best friend:	Allison Krauss - When you say nothing at all
Your school life:	idk, I hate school.
Your social Life:	idk
Your mood:	NFG - I dont wanna know
Your biggest obsession:	Bright Eyes - No Lies, Just Love
FAVORITES
Movie:	Edward Scissorhands, Nothing To Lose, Nightmare b4 Christmas
Band:	too many.
Song:	Bright Eyes - No Lies, Just Love
TV Show:	idk
Cartoon:	umm...recess! lol
Friend:	Kristine
Person:	um idk, lots a people I guess
Color:	pink
Building:	um..idk.
City:	wherever I was in Jamaica. I dont remember what it was called.
Vacation:	Jamaica
Feeling:	Love.
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Sweet Dreams Are Made Of These

Sat, 05 Feb 2005 17:33:43 GMT

Hmm...so not a lot goin on I suppose. Today Im going to Nick ((robins nephew or something))'s birthday. Ryan is coming cuz Nick like way wants to meet him, and I finally get to meet Nicks gf too. Yayness, yea that should be fun. Then tomarrow a couple people are coming over for the superbowl n whatever. hmm..that should also hopefully be fun. :) Okay well I guess im going to go n whatever. <33 Buh bye.

Mon, 31 Jan 2005 23:54:40 GMT

wow fuckin gay ass people..get a fuckin life you fuckin...ugh...some people I swear. Just nevermind.

Anyways, im happy w/ Ryan **1/27/05**
Hope it lasts, and this time im going to try hard as hell too! :)

Um not really anything to update about. I mean a lot has happened, I just really dont feel like typing it all, or I dont wanna tell people...so either way, im not typing it.

MmHmM

Soooo buh bye...sorry this update was so lame.

<33

Mon, 17 Jan 2005 23:16:59 GMT

currents!@&!@&^&
Created by alison and taken 8409 times on bzoink!
current clothing	sweater, and jeans
current mood	ecstatic
current taste	Mint chocolate
current hair	half pony
current annoyance	people
current smell	Lilu from Pac*Sun
current thing you ought to be doing	Homework
current jewelry	Just my bracelets that dont come off, and class ring, which also doesnt come off
current book	Complete Stories and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe
current refreshment	waattaaaaa
current worry	something that you dun need to know about.
current crush	:D
current favorite celebrity	hmm...idk
current longing	To go skating again
current music	The Killers - Mr. Brightside
current wish	To see him
current lyric in your head	It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this, it was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
current makeup (if you're a girl!)	umm, cover up, mascara, eye shadow, and chapstick
current undergarments	regular panties ((from victoria secret lol))
current regret	Being so damn serial dater-ish
current desktop picture	pink star thingy
current plans for tonight/weekend	weekend - hopefully going to the movies, and maybe to a b-day party
current cuss word du jour	Im trying to stop swearing, its not working..
current disappointment	That I cant stop swearing
current amusement	My newly obtained hackysack
current IM/person you're talking to	Dan
current love	dont have a love...sorry
current obsession	The Killers, and Bright Eyes
current avoidance	none I suppose
current thing or things on your wall	on my door...a bunch of pics, and a star thing, and spongebob magnets, and a sweet stop sign!
current favorite book	either Where The Sidewalk Ends, or Complete Stories and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe
current favorite movie	Nap Dyna, and SAW
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Mon, 17 Jan 2005 00:43:13 GMT

Hmm...Yesterday was so fun.

Okay first I got up at my grandpas, cuz me and dad and robin spent the night up at his house. We played cards with my uncle danny, then we left...and around 3ish me, dad, and Mike C went to the movies. We seen White Noise which wasnt all that great. Idk, it was good, but I thought it would be scarier ya know?

Anyways then at like 8 ron picked me up and we went Ice Skating. There was this Dan kid there that Ron knows so we were all talking and hes really cute n whatnot. And they were like pulling me aroudn cuz they can skate a lot faster than me, so they pulled me n let go and everything. It was fun, but my favorite part was probably when me and Dan were skating around. It was fun. So now im talking to him online, and its cool. Rons probably about to go out with someone soon, which is really cute too. Yay for everyone. lol!

Then I came home after skating and told my dad everything and he was makin fun of me ALL night, and all morning too actually. Interesting.

So Dan wants me to go skating again this saturday...anyone wanna go, cuz im not gunna be able to go by myself ((THEY will suspect stuff, and I hate that)). So if you wanna go, tell me. I wanna go to the movies again this coming up weekend too...so if you wanna go there, tell me.

<333 buh bye